vs. the


Robert Farmilo (The Questioner)
Swami Bob (The Answerer)

QUESTION: “What came first, Swami Bob? The complaining or the unhappiness?”

ANSWER: “You are asking me to define the origin of discontent. Let me add this, ‘There is no greater misery than discontent. No greater source of misfortune than wanting something for one’s self.”

This is a quote taken from the Tao te Ching, aphorism 46

QUESTION: “So…we are not to want anything? Become devoid of desire? Squish my feelings of being irritated, annoyed, bothered? This will help to foster a state of happiness?”

ANSWER: “I noticed that you have included a video about this particular aphorism at the end of this article.”

QUESTION: “Yes I did. Do you think that is a good idea?”

ANSWER: “Yes, I do.”

QUESTION: “Will you answer my question about suppressing my feelings of irritation?”

ANSWER: (Interrupting) “No. Yes. Maybe. Trying to NOT want something for oneself is a fool’s errand. Desiring not to desire is another desire disguised as a virtue. All this will do is help you to understand what it is that you really are wanting. But only if you remain alert to take advantage of this opportunity.”

(NOTE: Then there was a thoughtful pause by Swami Bob before he started to speak again.)

ANSWER “Of course, you can do anything you want with your thinking and feeling. This is a personal choice. But you people are LAZY. You don’t LIKE the effort that comes with mental discipline. Changing your thoughts and feelings commensurate with those thoughts, this involves evolving.”


(The Questioner didn’t like the “tone” of Swami Bob’s answer. There was an obvious ‘judgement’ about “…you people are lazy….” The statement smacked of the Swami being somehow superior and The Questioner being inferior.)

ANSWER: “Yes. Oh. Please take careful note of the close proximity these two words have to each other: In-volve AND e-volve. Both words have the word ‘volve’ and are intimately connected. What does this ‘volve’ word have to do with you becoming capable of actually thinking and feeling that which generates the illusive state of happiness?”

QUESTION: “You are asking me a question? I thought this went the other way. Doesn’t it go the OTHER way?”

ANSWER: “Hmmmm. No. Not always. I think it is time to offer a quote to you. The quote is from an article. Here is a small sample:”


Dr. Margaret Paul
August 4, 2008
“At any given moment, we each get to choose which part of ourselves we want to express – our ego wounded self who lives in our mind, or true, essential Self who lives in our heart and soul. If you decide to trust your mind over your heart and soul, you will likely find yourself noticing what you don’t like and complaining about it in order to attempt to control it. Complaining is a form of control and the mind believes that if you complain enough, you can have control over getting what you want.”

QUESTION: “So you are telling me not to complain, is that it?”

ANSWER: “What makes you think that you cannot complain? What is important is how you make the statement. The more you come with the outcome in mind, the better you will do with all your complaining.”

QUESTION: “What does that mean?”

ANSWER: “What is it you want to happen? Think about that first before you open your mouth and start complaining. Begin with the end in mind. If you want a full refund, that’s what you want to have happen. Ask for what you want to have happen.”

QUESTION: “When is it okay to complain?”



QUESTION: “So…I am somehow weak and unworthy if I complain about something?”
ANSWER: “You can state a truthful set of facts as you know them to be, without laying on the implications, innuendo, snotty tone, reproach and guilt-trip. Did you know that telling someone what your complaint is will probably raise your self-esteem. It is a fact that people who complain a lot usually have an ongoing idea inside their mind that by complaining they are more likely to get the outcome they wanted from the outset of their complaining.”
(NOTE: At this point, Swami Bob gave another thoughtful pause. Then he went on.)
ANSWER: “But this complaining can backfire and lower your happiness quotient. Plus you run the serious risk of alienating people and attracting more misery. The old saying holds true, ‘Misery loves company.’ Be careful with your complaining. Anything cloaked in negative emotion is a powerful magnet.”
QUESTION: “Do you have a source for me to look up about this self-esteem effect of complaining?”
ANSWER: “Yes. Here it is.”
QUESTION: “Are you telling me that it is okay to complain as long as I know what it is I am wanting, what the complaint is about, and what I want to have happen as a result of my complaining?”

ANSWER: “You are getting closer to the Art and Science of Complaining. Here are some simple yet almost  impossible to follow guidelines:”


  • Complain using facts.
  • Avoid the use of language that states anything to do with your ability to be the world’s greatest mind-reader.
  • Do not tell the other person what they are feeling.
  • Do not tell the other person what their motivations might be.
  • Do not tell the other person you think might be their plots or collusions with your friends and or enemies (who might be the same people but maybe not at the same time.)

ANSWER: “Are you getting this? Good. The last part is to be simple.”

  • Do NOT go over the same facts twenty different ways.
  • Say what you have to say as simply as possible.
  • Whatever you do, do NOT get into a bitch tone of voice.
  • Just don’t start in with the Imperial Margarine dripping from your tongue.

ANSWER: “Can you do that? Keep your tone of voice level and neutral?”

QUESTION: “You are asking me a question?”
ANSWER: “Yes. And your answer disguised as a question is annoying me. I am feeling irritated by your vocal stylings. This is an example of how NOT to complain IF you want to actually get a change in behaviour and outcome.”
QUESTION: “I see what you mean. I noticed I immediately got pissed off at you. I wanted to tell you to go fuck yourself, too.”
ANSWER: “…ah…right. Okay. I feel you. Well, here is a primer on the Art and Science of Complaining. Keep in mind that you want to be a thoughtful complainer. Too much of a bad thing will not get you the attractive powers you are craving.”
SOURCE: “How Happy People Complain,” by Kristin Wong.

Sometimes you need more than a sandwich—You need a full meal…because when you complain…suddenly you find yourself in an argy-bargy (argument). It can quickly get out of hand. As part of this series on GRATITUDE, you will discover many helpful resources. This is one of them. Click on the image below to be instantly transported to some serious wisdom. (It is FREE.)

(NOTE: Here is another truly great resource for you…IF you find yourself in conflict at work. Plus you can adapt this stellar material for almost any situation related to bleeped up bleep that goes on in your relationship life. Here is the link. Use wisely.)

QUESTION: “This is probably a good time to ask you about practicing gratitude. What do you think about being deliberately grateful?”

ANSWER: “Before I do that, I would be ever so grateful if you will click on this next link and really ABSORB the jist of this high level intell. It is posed as a question to ask yourself.”


ANSWER: “Good. Thank you for absorbing that insight. Now, to answer your question: What I’ve found over the last 583 years of my life on this planet, in my current incarnation, is that the average person can ‘retool’ their mind.”

QUESTION: “That sounds a lot like work to me. Is it easy to do?”

ANSWER: “…It isn’t easy, and it does require consistent practice. The fact is that REGULAR practice will create momentum and traction to ENFORCE your continued practice. You will ‘stick to it’ when you FORCE yourself to do it when you’d rather NOT do it.”


ANSWER: “You will have about five seconds to apply your WILL POWER to begin one simple mental exercise of self-awareness. Oh, there will be a faint hope clause added…in that you will have a mental nudge to lurch into witnessing your own thoughts. Let’s call this little window a version of being self-aware.”

QUESTION: “What is that?”

ANSWER: “You are annoying. It is this little bit of time, even a few seconds of noticing that you are noticing your thoughts. That you are aware of the FACT that you are aware of being aware. This little, tiny slice of time is a great blessing to you. Latch onto it and deliberately suck your mind as deep inside the awareness of being aware as you can.”

ANSWER: “Here is a little video for you to watch. Use this as a study guide. Please be one of the few who actually WORKS at this. Even if you lose patience quickly…just stick your head inside this video and follow along. Stick it out to the better end. That’s my little play on words, by the way. So…here is the video.”

QUESTION: “Ouch. That is 50 minutes long. You are kidding me, right?”

ANSWER: “You ought to know. You made the video.”

QUESTION: “Oh. Yeah…you’re right, I did. I guess I can practice what I preach, right?”

ANSWER: “Robert, you know the answers already. This is NOT easy stuff. That is why most people NEVER even get started. Now I know you have another question for me…so ask it.”

QUESTION: “I want to complain about my skimpy ability to genuinely express gratitude. And besides all that, I want to complain to you that you didn’t answer my original question.”

ANSWER: “Oh? What was your original question?”

QUESTION: “What came first, Swami Bob? The complaining or the unhappiness?”

ANSWER: “Discontent is the source of all complaints. If you are not content you will find something to complain about even when there is nothing to complain about. This means that the condition of being contentious and wrathful is a native of the country of Discontentment.”

QUESTION: “Ouch. This sounds like being condemned to being fucked up forever. What can I do with my discontent?”

ANSWER: “Your discontent is useful in that it points to what will make you contented. But this could mean that other creatures will have to be made unhappy for you to be made happy. Also there is a serious risk that your new found contentment will be highly transitory.”

QUESTION: “Oh bleep. Well, then what can I do?”

ANSWER: “Practice the pursuit of virtue. This will nourish you.”

QUESTION: “Huh? What does it mean to be nourished by Virtue?”

ANSWER: “I am so glad you asked. That is the topic of the next article in this series on gratitude.”

QUESTION: “So, where is that video you promised me? The one about the Tao te Ching?”

ANSWER: “You are a pesky fellow, aren’t you? Okay, here it is, as promised.”
VIDEO, Tao Te Ching: Chapter 46,
“Contentment Comes From Inner Joy”

When Gratitude Works; and When It Doesn’t
HINT: Focus on the positive to make gratitude work for you.

Here is another source for you to explore:

If you have made it this far, you deserve a great bonus. Here is a genuine limited time offer. You can get this very dangerous training manual for free. Or you can buy it. That is your choice. Take advantage of the free offer while you can.





Robert Farmilo is the translator of The God Consciousness Project. He was personally trained by His Holiness Maharishi Mahesh Yogi. Robert began meditating in 1971. He started his Teacher Training in 1972. He was made a student teacher by Maharishi in 1974. In 1975, Maharishi made Robert a full adult teacher. In 1978, Robert completed the Siddhi training and was made an Executive Governor of the Age of Enlightenment. Robert continued working with the TM movement until 1984. Robert began training in martial arts in 1965. He continued this training and began teaching various methods, including an obscure system: Tai Ji Qi. He is currently the official world-wide Master Teacher of Tai Ji Qi. He is also teaching Deep Meditation, Skills of Vital Energy, Esoteric Clairvoyance, Deep Christian Meditation, Healing Energy, and helps people with a wide variety of personal challenges. Robert is a keen online marketing personality, and is the author of books, both fiction and non-fiction. He produces videos and posts on Youtube. Robert is a rabid fan of Spanish and loves to learn this most fascinating language. He is a practicing musician, and has recorded a number of albums. He is a vocal artist, and visual artist. The list goes on. What are we leaving out? Plenty! Contact Robert via this website. He is ready to help you.